Be Frank . . . Be Earnest . . . Or, You Know, Whoever You Were Born to Be

Photo: Petr Kratchovil

Last night I had dinner with a young friend who is perched like a cliff diver at the brink of her adult life. Already, she has accomplishments that others with decades more experience don't have. Success is a way of life for her. And therein lies the rub. My young friend is an artist. And the life she dreams of, the life she feels in her heart and knows in her gut she was meant to live, doesn't come with the same kind of blueprint, or offer the same predictable kudos, as success in academics or business. These come easily to her and, like the rest of us, she likes the recognition and the validation. As an artist, recognition and validation are not guaranteed.

Let me pause here for a bit of clarification: almost anything humans do can be a form of art. We're blessed to have doctors and nurses and massage therapists who are masters of the healing arts. We have gardners and farmers who are much more adept at growing things than most of the population. We have chefs and bakers who make edible art and vinters who create liquid symphonies. We have people who build companies and banks, pulling them from the ether and into this realm like magicians pulling rabbits and flowers from a top hat. Almost any skill that's practiced with love and intention can transcend from the mundane to the divine. This is why the Buddhists encourage mindfulness . . . why Kahlil Gibran's Prophet reminded us that "Work is love made visible." Everyone has a gift to offer the world.

But if you are an actor? A singer? A poet? A playwright? A painter? A filmmaker? A sculptor? What then? It's not quite the same as creating a perfect wedding cake or a beautiful public garden. Success is more difficult to quantify; appreciation more subjective. And if you measure it solely -- or even primarily -- in terms of dollars and cents, you're likely to feel like a failure.

Not everyone is destined to be Brad Pitt or Julia Roberts. But lacking superstar status doesn't make one less of an artist. And the truth is -- at least in my personal experience and observation -- that if you know yourself to be an actor, a singer, a poet, a painter, a filmmaker, etc. and neglect to honor that part of yourself in some tangible way, then regardless of what worldly success you garner or how big your bank balance may become, you will not feel like a success. You will feel like a fraud.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said it like this:

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

and, before that, William Shakespeare said it like this:

"This above all; to thine own self be true. And it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

We've all heard it before. We know it. But living it? That's a moment by moment challenge, no matter who we are, what our age, or what field of endeavor we pursue. There are no guarantees for any of us. And where artists are concerned, the truth, which is not peculiar to our age, is that even great artists sometimes toil away for years, or even for a lifetime, in anonymity. But living a life that feels authentic is essential for true happiness. Living that life surrounded by others who are true to themselves brings joy.

So to my young friend I say, "Dive. Dive!" There are lots of others in the pool and the water's fine.