Squirrels and Wunkels

Photo: Cassie Peters

If it's true that you are what you eat, then squirrels are nuts . . . and this may be the reason that my family nickname is Squirrel. I prefer to think that it's because I'm "bright-eyed and bushy-tailed" as my grandparents used to tell me . . . but then, de Nile ain't just a river in Egypt.

My sister will tell you that I earned this name not ONLY because I am nuts, but also because I am noisy. And a bit of a pest. I make a noise (which I learned from my father) that we call "the squirrel noise." It may or may not have anything to do with actual squirrels . . . I've seen a lot of squirrels and have heard them make a kind of chirping sound. And I've heard them chatter. They can get pretty animated, especially if there's bird seed involved.

But truthfully, the noise we make is louder than a chirp and yet would not qualify as chatter . . . were I more technologically savvy, I could record it and place the recording here for your listening . . . er . . . pleasure. My sister is the only person on the planet who does not appreciate the genuis of the squirrel noise. In point of fact, she LOATHES it. But trust me. She is an aberration. You, I am sure, would recognize immediately the value of this noise and wish to replicate it. But alas! For now, those recording and uploading skills elude me and so you will be left wondering. And squirrel-noiseless. Buck up. When we meet, I will teach you the noise. And then we will go visit my sister . . .

My sister's answer to the Squirrel is the Wunkel . . . the origins of Wunkel-dom are a bit murky, but we agree that the Wunkel is a mythical creature who (in contrast to the squirrel) is quiet by nature. And (here we agree to disagree) -- Wunkels are not a bit pesky. Ummmmm..... we'll discuss that later, shall we? On our way to visit her after you've mastered the squirrel noise. (No, really. She's a fantastic hostess. She'll be delighted to see you!! But if she pulls out the .22 when you proudly recreate the squirrel noise, get behind her SUV. You'll be safe there . . . she'd never take a chance on scratching that. And buckshot stings. The Badger, remember?)

Anyway, when she was still too young and sweet to exhibit Badger like tendencies, the family called my sister Skunk. (Which, come to think of it, may help explain how she developed the Badger like tendencies in the first place.) Skunk became Skunkel-Wunkel which, in due time, evolved to Wunkel. My sister likes to tell anyone who will listen that while Squirrels are noisy [Insert Me as Exhibit A], Wunkels are QUIET by nature. (Shhhhhhhh!) [QUIETLY insert My Sister here as Exhibit B]. This is her story and she's sticking to it.

But my niece (who is proud of both her Squirrel heritage AND her Wunkel tendencies) has the last word. On a recent visit when we were talking about her mother and said mother's Wunkel-like nature, she cocked her head thoughtfully and said, "Aunt Debbie? I don't think Wunkels are really so quiet. They don't mind making noise. . . they just don't like it when OTHER people make noise."

I swear I heard a chorus of squirrels chortling. But maybe it was just me.